It is that magical time of year once again. So many things to do and make. There are so many parties to attend and friends to see. Family obligations to see everyone and enjoy some festive cheer. The tree is trimmed and our place looks like a Christmas card. Sounds like every Christmas since I was a child.
Since my epilepsy has changed, all the magic of the holidays is gone. I do not think I have cried this much in a very long time. The holidays are a difficult for many. I do know that I am blessed with family, friends and a beautiful home. I do not have my health. With my epilepsy and the huge amount of pills I took for three years affected my immune system. Tis the season to catch a cold no matter where you go. As you may know that changes my seizure threshold to zero. Partial seizures are an everyday event now. Those I can handle and treat with CBD & THC.
Shopping is a pretty big deal for me. I do love the mall and picking that perfect gift. Now going to the mall means sitting in a wheelchair to shop. I get exercise induced seizures from walking too much. Nothing is worse than having a tonic clonic seizure in public. The lighting in some stores is to much for my brain. If there are to many people that freaks me out as well. People look at you with pity because my invisable illness just became visable. All I want to do is just get out of there and go home. I feel safe at home and nobody is staring at me. It is heaps of disappointment because I used to love doing these things.
I am very thankful to have an amazing husband who understands. Last year he did it all as I laid in bed. I was still recovering from a status seizure that affected my brain in horrible ways. It was my grandsons first Christmas and I just wanted to be heathy for it. Well that wish did not come true but we did make it special in a different way. That is why this holiday season I had heaps of hope that I was going to feel fantastic for it. Well that is just not in the cards for me.
So I am doing things different this year. Plans with family are made and that is the only place I will go. They understand if I am to sick to attend. I started shopping online early and in the end its not all about gifts. Time with the ones you love is what the holidays are for. Depression is really difficult for many during this season. I can get really down on myself because everything is not perfect. Try doing little things like making something special for your loved ones. Really all our families want is to visit with us. I try to focus on the positives in my life. My husband and family are the positives in my life. My social media family is the other positive part of my life. It is nice to know that you are not alone on your journey. I would also like to thank my beautiful friend Kelly for understanding and always being there. I can’t wait to meet her in person one day.
I wish you all the best over the holiday season! Looking forward to 2017 and how the cannabis industry will continue to grow and change. Take care and I wish you all the best!